maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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