Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
