just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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