you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
