She is in my trunk
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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