Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wear drunk well.
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