Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
