Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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