mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
