I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
