I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
