Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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