Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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