Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize