i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
