he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
meet me or not, i'm out of control
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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