Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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