Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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