I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
bring money and cleavage
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
