Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Semen is not good for contacts.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You may now shotgun with the bride
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
there is glitter all over my balls
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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