just come out here and I will go home with you...
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Randomize
