honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
How's work?
Spinning.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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