sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
