Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
