this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
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It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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