Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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