is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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