If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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