Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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