my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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