i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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