He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
