I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis