Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
