So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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