Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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