i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize