the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
