Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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