I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
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I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
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wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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