Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize