"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Randomize
