ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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