10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Even my vagina gasped.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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