Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
