I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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