Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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