you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
