I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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