I think my fart just growled at me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
