Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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