Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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