come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
