belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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